The pregnancy changed all three of us.
Marissa became obsessed with preparation.
She had a binder.
Not a notebook.
A binder.
Tabbed sections.
Appointments.
Nutrition.
Insurance.
Hospital information.
Questions for doctors.
Questions for lawyers.
Questions she had already asked doctors but apparently wanted to ask again in different wording.
Ryan teased her constantly.
At first.
He came to nearly every appointment.
He bought me ridiculous maternity pillows.
He installed a handrail beside my bathtub even though I had never asked for one.
He argued with Marissa over nursery colors.
He insisted their daughter needed a rocking chair “built to last until college,” which made absolutely no sense.
He was excited.
Then around month five, Ryan started disappearing.
Not completely.
Just enough for me to notice.
He missed an ultrasound because of an “emergency operations meeting.”
He left another appointment halfway through after receiving a text.
At dinner, his phone never stayed face down for more than five minutes.
Marissa complained that his company was working him to death.
Ryan agreed.
He was regional operations manager for a commercial food distribution company.
Long hours weren’t unusual.
So we believed him.
One afternoon, I asked him directly.
“You okay?”
“Fine.”
“You look exhausted.”
“Quarter-end mess.”
“You’re checking your phone every twelve seconds.”
He smiled.
“I’m popular.”
“You’re irritating.”
“That too.”
I let it go.
I wish I hadn’t.
At my final prenatal scan, the technician lingered around the lower part of the baby’s spine.
She didn’t panic.
She didn’t say something terrible had happened.
But she became quieter.
The doctor later explained that the baby’s position prevented them from getting one image as clearly as they wanted.
They would perform additional evaluation after delivery.
Marissa immediately asked fourteen questions.
I asked six.
Ryan asked none.
He stood beside the window rubbing his jaw.
I assumed he was worried about the baby.
I had no idea he was thinking about money.
And five hours after Amelia’s birth, I was finally going to find out why. Continue to Page 4.
